UsnaBolt922 and KidOfTheBlackHole React to "JAVIER PABLO ALEMAN KILLS HIS TEACHER AND GETS GROUNDED!!!!"
Usna: Welcome back to another episode of "UsnaBolt922 Reacts To"! Today me and Kyle are going to be reacting to a fanfic called JAVIER PABLO ALEMAN KILLS HIS TEACHER AND GETS GROUNDED!!!! because I need to show Kyle how shitty DaddyOFanfic's fanfics have gotten lately. Kyle: Wasn't Javier the same guy you told me yesterday and his failed attempted to commit suicide by police? Usna: Yes, and we're not gonna discuss that incident any further. Let's get this shit over with. The scene starts at a jail. Maryland comes to Javier Pablo Alaman’s cell. Maryland: Wake up, Javier! As part of your sentence, you gotta go to Sux Cox Alternative School. Kyle: Laughing Sux Cox! Javier: Fuck no! I don’t wanna go to school! I’m like in my late 40s and I’m already done with school! Maryland: Too fucking bad! If you wanna get out of prison, you gotta attend class! Usna: So we're just gonna let some nobody in an alternative school? Smh. Javier: Eat my ass! Besides, I can’t go because my spleen hurts! Maryland: What the fuck happened? Did Josh Hilling shot you in the brain or something? Kyle: He actually shoot him in the abdomen. Javier: No, but he ought to shoot your fatass! I wanna stay in my cell and watch Sailor Moon! Usna: They have Sailor Moon in prison?! Maryland: So that’s why the TV screen was covered in cum? Shit, you must’ve went too fast and too furious in the race car bed. Kyle: What kind of fucking prison has Sailor Moon and race car beds? Anyway, get your crazy ass up and on the bus! Javier: But what about breakfast? Maryland: We’re having eggs, bacon, and pancakes that were happily donated by the nearby church, since we cut our food budget. Usna: Okay, this is sounding like a depressing prison. Javier: But I want to go eat at McDonald’s! Ronald needs me! Maryland: That fucking crackhead Ronald can go fuck himself! Kyle: This fanfic be cursing more than a sailor! Javier: But I want a McMuffin! Maryland: I’m going to give you a McAss Whooping if you don’t get on the bus like a good little bitch! Usna: Laughing really hard A MCASS WHOOPING!!! Kyle: Finally, DaddyOFanfics makes a good joke! Javier eventually caves in, and goes to the alternative school in Leitersburg, MD. Javier: I heard a lot of insane shit from Sux Cox Alternative School. Hopefully I survive this shithole! Kyle: Hopefully me and Jacob survive this shithole too! Javier goes in class. The teacher is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel. Alastor: Welcome to your first day of school! I’m Alastor, and I’ll be your teacher! Now why don’t we introduce ourselves? Usna: Why is Alastor teaching a class full of degenerates? Joy: I’m Nurse Joy. Javier: Damn! You look thick as fuck! Can I fuck you to submission after class? Kyle: Careful! She's into CBT! Joy: I know who you are, Javier! And you’re not getting near me, you shitty Arab fuck! Usna: That kinda sounds racist. The scene cuts to lunch. Lunch Lady: Here’s your food! Javier: Ew! I took big shits that tasted better than this poor excuse of food! Kyle: I hope he didn't actually eat his shit to find that out. Javier throws the food at the lunch lady and makes a run for it. The scene then cuts to recess. Javier: Since you refused to let me fuck you in consent, I’m gonna fuck you without consent! Usna: You can't do that! That's rape! Kyle: But this is Javier Pablo Aleman we're talking about! He doesn't give a fuck about anything! Jenny: Not so fast! I’m Officer Jenny, and you’re not gonna rape Nurse Joy! Kyle: Where the fuck are these Pokémon characters coming from? Javier: Then I ought to fuck you both and we get a orgy in this bitch! Jenny: FUCK THAT SHIT!!! Jenny destroys Javier’s clothes. He runs away in fear. Meanwhile, in Alastor’s classroom... Usna: Moral: rESPECT wOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 Cooper Collins: I’m going to draw Honey Boo Boo on the board! Kyle: Who's Cooper? Another PokeFuck character? Usna: No. I did some research, and he's actually a Goanimater. Kyle: Well I'd be damned. Cooper draws Honey Boo Boo on the board. Alastor then arrives. Alastor: Who drew this waste of chalk? Cooper Collins: It was Javier! Alastor: That idiot! When he comes, I’m gonna get him! Usna: Javier wasn't even in the room when it happened! Javier then enters. Alastor: Javier Pablo Aleman! You are done! Javier: What the fucking shit, bitch? Kyle: Sorry sir, but this is a Christian Minecraft Server, so nO cUSSING. Alastor: Watch your mouth! Why did you drew Honey Boo Boo on the board? And why are you naked? Javier: I didn’t drew that child prostatute! And why I’m naked? Well Officer-Fucking-Jenny ripped off my clothes while I attempted to rape Nurse Joy! Alastor: Did the lunch lady gave you LSD for lunch? That is a lie! Usna: Did the lunch lady gave DaddyOFanfics LSD before he wrote this garbage? Kyle: Dis you just quoted a comment you posted before we did this? Usna: damn... Javier: Well maybe I’m naked because I wanted to be sexy! Cooper Collins: Sexy my ass! My grandpa looks sexier than your ghetto ass! Kyle: I guess Javier won't be modeling for Victoria's Secrets anytime soon. Javier: Fuck you Cooper! Go suck on my dick you sissy fuck! Cooper Collins: Hell no! Your dick is smaller than my pinky! No wonder you tried to get Hilling to kill you, because you’re so insecure about yourself! Usna: I won't be surprised if this was written be a 13 year old trying too hard to be edgy. Kyle: DaddyOFanfics sure does act like one! Alastor: Stop mooning me, Javier! Your ass looks like the back of a garbage truck! Javier: You wanna go bitch? I will take your white southern ass back to Louisiana you devil hoe! I’ll kill your gay ass just like I did to Victor! Kyle: How does Javier know that Alastor is gay? Alastor: Don’t you dare do it! Javier: Oh yes I will! Now hold still! Usna: Alastor becomes a US Navy SEAL and brutally murders Javier. Javier grabs a pair of scissors and stabs Alastor to death with it. Cooper Collins: Holy shit! He just fucking killed Alastor! Kyle: https://youtube.com/watch?v=MhUxX63U5HQ Joy: Damn! Now I wish I’ve fucked him! Usna: Since Cooper did call him out for having a small dick, I don't think you'd enjoy the fucking. Jenny: If I wasn’t in bondage, I’d kill your fucking psychopathic ass! Kyle: Since when was she in bondage? Javier: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I RULE THIS SCHOOL NOW!!! Usna: Not for long, dickface! Suddenly, Josh Hilling arrives. Josh: Hello class. I’m Josh Hilling from the Glendale Police Department in Ohio. I’m going to give you all a very valuable lesson in parenting and taming crazy people. Now here it goes. Kyle: Proceeds to "finish the job". Javier Pablo Aleman the gay ass bitch who killed his fucking landlord and tried to get me to kill his sorry ass, I’m going to speak in your native language, which is the language of the insane. It goes like this... Usna: Place your bets on how long Javier will be grounded for! Kyle: A number so long, I can't even say it. You are grounded grounded grounded Arab fuck grounded grounded Superman 64 grounded grounded grounded no Sailor Moon grounded grounded raw and uncooked meat only grounded. Also, Ronald McDonald says you are McGrounded grounded only listen to XXXTENTACION grounded grounded grounded play Creepypasta games and watch horror movies grounded grounded grounded life in prison grounded grounded grounded. Usna: Okay, but how long will it last? Kyle: What are the numbers, Mason?! Also, since you will now get life in prison and is expelled from Sux Cox Alternative School forever, you will have to live with Madea in Atlanta for the rest of your life. Now get on the plane and enjoy the rest of your life in Madea’s house! Kyle: Didn't you said earlier that he was gonna spend life in prison as part of the sentence? Javier: IF THIS SHIT ISN’T FUCKING PROOF THAT I SHOULD’VE DIED IN GLENDALE, THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!! Usna: I don't blame you, Javier. Conclusion Overall, me and Kyle are giving this fanfic a 0/10. Where do we even begin? It mocks a serious police shooting, has too many cuss words (even for us), and it's yet ANOTHER GOD DAMN GOANINATE GROUNDING FEST!!! I'm so done with DaddyOFanfic's shit! Category:Fanfic Category:Usna Reacts